I entered sticky time after prostate surgery

Time loses its meaning when you enter a hospital for treatment north of your nuts and during the recovery period after it. I entered sticky time after prostate surgery. North of my nuts was different. Temporal understanding shifts as time becomes elasticised. Seconds can seem like hours, days can seem like minutes.

In the recovery room after Monday’s surgery, the clock seemed frozen at 1507. I was off my face on morphine. The clock’s hands appeared static for days. Various pipes poked out of my body and an oxygen line was stuck up my nose. When would time move on? I was in a surrealist painting like one of Dali’s melting clocks. In the next twelve hours I must have said some mad stuff. I comforted myself that many government ministers speak nonsense daily about the NHS, uncontrolled sewage being let into rivers and onto beaches, school repairs and what they have not fixed for thirteen years with no need for any morphine.

Eventually, the clock moved, and they rolled me out on my high-tech bed into the specialist ward.

The surgeon said the surgery went well. The pipes were still in me. So they were real. Later, he visited me several times to check how I was. It was reassuring. He told me what any post surgery patient hopes to hear, ‘It went well. I am pleased.’ If he was pleased, I was delighted. ‘I protected your nerves on the right,’ he continued. The clock was moving again. The prostate will be analysed and I will have another PSA test in a few weeks to see if the level has dropped to safe numbers.

After the morphine wore off, the stretching and compressing of time continued. I held onto any funny things said by nurses and patients. One older man, facing much more serious issues than me, made some humourous aside in every exchange. People can be amazing. The nurses were attentive, very professional and knew their subject, worked hard and deserve better pay than they get. They explained several daily procedures I would need to do in the weeks ahead after I left the hospital, including giving myself injections, dressings and care for the catheter. I won’t go into details now, as it will put you off your dinner and deserved Friday night beer or a glass of Rioja.

I have nothing but praise for the surgeon, medics, nurses and support staff. They discharged me from the hospital at the end of Tuesday. It felt a mixed blessing. Leaving the hospital was a relief because noisy patients kept me awake all night. One man kept pulling on his catheter, which caused him much pain. He then made wild ramblings with religious invocations. The nurses had to conduct regular two hourly checks all night on our blood pressure, pulse, and oxygen levels.

It was good to imagine sleeping again as we left the hospital. However, Caro and I were now on our own.

Dealing with a catheter is challenging. I cannot imagine how someone living alone does this after a couple of days in a hospital. It’s difficult to do some of the required procedures even with help. I’m very fortunate. Caro looks after me, but works during the day. It is a steep learning curve for her too, especially when we are both tired. I am very grateful I am in good surroundings and with someone who cares will do some things that others might not. That is this week’s lottery win.

After one night’s decent sleep at home, it was Wednesday and the anaesthetic finally wore off. The pain and discomfort started. I can’t sit, so I either stand and move slowly or lie down. I wrote this standing up.

Days pass and I can’t believe it is already Friday. I am very glad the surgery is over and hope no complications set in. I look forwards to the end of sticky time. I hope Uncle Gilbert has left the house.

Enjoy your weekend and make the most of your free time. I hope your clocks are moving. If not, wind them up or change the battery. Do something that makes you happy as your clock’s arms move on. Notice the good things happening to you.. They are precious.

In the next post: What happened next

If you have questions about my prostate cancer story, please ask them.

Read more about earlier in my prostate cancer story here: https://northofmynuts.co.uk/the-shadow/

For more information on the condition you can look at https://prostatecanceruk.org/